I’m All Shook Up.

The internet is absolutely gonna be the downfall of my sanity. We had a thunderstorm a week ago Saturday which hit my router and modem. The phone workers came twice on Sunday. I’m sure God knows the mental shape I’m in. Sorry but NO FIX! So after making several calls to the phone office during the week to complain that my internet was still not staying online, I then became ashamed to call again so after business hours I called the help line (to no avail.) So yesterday – now let’s count, that’s 9 days that my internet is sporadic and I don’t have a pill to take for this so the entire family is affected by my outrageous spurts of rage and screaming. Even little Kate is having some withdrawal – no youtube America’s Got Talent – Jeremy Van Schoonhoven (or whatever), no Dylan Plummer the jump rope boy, no Snow White, no Cinderella, no Tom & Jerry no Taylor Swift singing Why you Gotta be so MeanI. People, we are addicted – what can I say.

Another day dawns – I come home from work – no internet. I’m exhausted, my blood pressure starts slowly rising. I wait until my son goes to work (night shift) – please, let’s not even get into how he’s acted over this tragic event. So I call out to the porch to warn My Fisherman that I’m going to call the help line again, which translates to “Keep Kate and yourself out of the house until further notice.” “Ok,” he smiles sweetly, but remember he doesn’t have the addiction.

I call the help line; this sweetest guy is so very helpful but guess what? NO FIX! I keep trying this and that and call the sweet guy back again – we stay on the phone for over 30 minutes but guess what? NO FIX! I then turn the laptop off and breathe deeply. I think “Surely there is life outside the internet.” I look around…I could dust, sweep, do laundry, cook, wash dishes… I stagger to the couch and watch America’s Got Talent – I’m telling you we have seen the same show 3 times in the last 3 days and Kate acts as if she’s going to miss one act – if she has to potty, she says “Poppy, stop the show” so he pushes the pause button until she returns. One problem we have with this show is when a performer starts to sing, she jumps up, grabs her microphone and starts singing in a foreign language. Oh but she is so precious and her Poppy smiles and says “That’s ok.”

So today I think that the problem has to be solved or I’m going to have a breakdown. I call the phone office and calmly explain my problem. The lady asks me several questions, like “is this plugged in, are the lights on this, blah, blah, blah.” I’m so sweet and answer her questions then she says “Hmm, we’ll have someone come out to check the problem.” I am feeling really upbeat cause I know that tonight the problem will be solved. Will let you know – my smile will be dripping online and everybody will be so happy. You’ve heard the “If Mama ain’t happy, nobody is happy” – I’ve heard this is very true at my house.

Another little incident that keeps popping up….. Kate, 3 ½ years old, has started asking me on a daily basis “Are you old?” Now she’s little and we can’t get mad at a precious little girl asking such but EVERYDAY? I’ll say “not really, do you think I am?” And can you believe she’s started saying “Yes.” What’s with this kid? She doesn’t know what old is. I keep thinking that one day I’m just going to have to deal with the old age and accept that…yes, I’m getting old.

Now you may think I’m a gripper but really I’m not but since I’m on a roll, I might share one more little story with you.

About a year ago, I took Kate to a children’s dentist which was almost a 2 hour drive from our home. These were the kindest people that you would ever want to meet. Because of the distance, I decided to try one that is about a 30 minute drive. (bad idea) Our first trip, I had a bad feeling when I walked in the place. The receptionist quickly handed me the old “fill these out” papers. I did, took them back to her and she hands me an appointment for 6 months later….I robotically take the card and sit down. I noticed there were about 4 to 5 ladies cluttered inside the little reception area – not one of them smiled or spoke to me or any of the other parents (that I saw.) Then we finally were called back, Kate’s teeth were checked and the dentist noted some “soft” spots and would see us back in 6 months.

About two weeks later I notice that one of her back teeth had changed and I called to make an appointment for a filling. I called, the good old computer answers – after having the choice to press 1,2,3,4 – I pick one and tell the computer the problem and I need to make an appointment. The next day Miss Not-Gonna-Win-a-Personality-Contest returns my call. She makes an appointment for about 2 ½ months ahead. She repeats 3 times during our very short conversation that I have to pay $40 upfront for the gas for Kate. Ok, I understand that rule. Then I ask if this is going to be dramatic for Kate since she hasn’t had a tooth filled before. She hatefully says, “If you don’t get her all worked up over it, it won’t.”

Ok, Friends, I’m almost 60 and I’ve taken a lot of junk off a lot of people and I think “Is this young cat being rude or what?” I hang up the phone and the more I think about it, the madder I get. So what do I do—– I sit down and write the dear Dr. Dentist a letter telling her of my experience and make her aware of her staff and that I will not be returning to her office ever again. I’m sure my business will not bankrupt her but it might save a future patient.

Ok…you may be thinking that Miss No-Personality may have spilled chocolate down the front of her white blouse that morning, stepped in a mud puddle, broke a nail or had a bad hair day (or her internet could be down) but my response to that is “suck it up, nobody cares….be nice to me.”

Considering all the choices I’ve been given in life, I then called the 2-hour drive dentist and we will be returning. At this stage of my life, I want to be appreciated.